28 March 2011

122

On Grammatical Errors That Make You Look Like a Positive Idiot

While surfing Facebook, I saw a comment one of my former classmates made on another classmate's photo. Exact wording:

My calves could feed Africa...................but i love you:)

Omg they totally could NOT.... your crazzyyyy gf!

I don't know what exactly it was about these two posts that succeeded in ruining my mood and breaking my concentration for studying 細生; perhaps it was the blatantly ignorant and unforgivable generalization of the first comment, or the grammatical catastrophe of the second. I am positively peevish at the fact that "Africa" has become a large entity to write off starving, dying, and developing country inhabitants. Fallacies. Fallacies everywhere.

Next, it's "You're crazy." You're. You're, damn it, YOU'RE. The fact that even Taiwanese people get this right, and not seniors in your typical American public high school (English is your native language, I think I have permission to fling you across the river for another you're/your confusion) annoys me to no end. I will never understand how you went through eighteen years of schooling not knowing how to differentiate the two, and good Lord, this is something you learned in first grade. I will never understand your English deficiencies when you've grown up speaking it for the last eighteen years of your little life. It doesn't matter half as much on Facebook, but I've graded papers that show the same mistakes, over, and over, and over again. It's a waste of ink, a waste of brainpower, and a waste of my precious red pens. The five below literally make me writhe in pain when I have the misfortune of coming across them.
  • You're/Your confusion.
  • It's/Its confusion.
  • Affect/Effect confusion.
  • They're/Their/There confusion.
  • ___ and I, not me and ___.
Another thing I don't understand is seeing things like this, written by American parents, who send their children to school as if they expect them to do any better:

Health Issues (Our major concern)
We concern about the high levels of variable
radio frequency emissions coming from this tower. Leland/Bret Harte buildings in which the children will spend 6-7 hours a day are all in close proximity to the proposed site and the unknown effects of this radiation causes us against the construction of the tower. Besides it will have impacts on the nearby residents’ health as well for sure.

Damage to Property Values
lower the value of our property.

Lack of Disclosure
There is much anger among residents as to the lack of communication from the school board. The public hearing notice was posted on Leland website which was available for the present high school families only. Other interested parties (parents with younger children who will go to Leland/Bret Harte in the future, and Leland High neighborhood residents) were not informed of the potential construction or public hearing. For a project with such an impact, there was no community meeting scheduled to address the residents' or parents' concerns.

Financial Impact
The installation of the tower would bring extra revenue to the
school district. This financial benefit to homeowners will be more than offset by the
decrease in home values of the residents. Additionally this benefit is only assuming the revenue generated from leasing the space. It does not include the potential legal fees that may be incurred. The residents could possibly file suit for damages resulting from property devaluation. Such a suit can reach class action status if hundreds of residents are affected. Also, who will assume the legal liability if any health or other problems are to arise. When considering the small revenue gain from leasing the tower to the huge potential legal liability it is quite clear that there is no financial justification for the construction of this tower.

In a conclusion, we are asking two questions and suggestions:
1> To be fair to all residents who are impacted, do you think they have right to get
their voice heard? Due to inconvenient of hearing time and short notice within
small percentage of people who are notified about this hearing, most of people
couldn’t attend hearing meeting. So we are asking for another hearing chance in
the evening time in Almaden Valley, either at Leland high school or Bret Harte

The presence of a cell tower in our neighborhood will

Middle School.
2> Are you looking at short-term benefit or long term damage to our health and our
wealth?

In a word, we are strongly against building Cell Tower at Leland High school.

If my mother wrote this, I would applaud her. But coming from a parent whose native tongue is English, my lord. The grammar. The capitalization. If I had to grade this last year, I'd just write a huge "NO" in big, red letters over the entire thing and return it to be rewritten. I did it a few times last year, and those people were only students. The abstract of a paper my roommate's mother, who was born and raised in Taiwan, wrote, was better than this.

I also cannot fathom the idea that the minute you become an English teacher, you cannot spell, capitalize, or write sentences with proper grammar. Perhaps I overstate, but the few I have had the misfortune of coming across in high school were no exceptions. Senior year of high school; English 7/8. Every time we received one of her assignment papers, the majority of our class could point out no less than five spelling and grammar errors in under a minute.

Suddenly, the way my chemistry teacher pronounced "quotient" as "kuo-tee-ent" becomes forgivable. What was the point in getting all defensive when one of my classmates, upon finding out I was from California, called Americans fat and stupid? Because to some extent, I don't see a satisfactory level of intelligence to be called otherwise.

121


你要相信,相信我會站在你身邊 你要信任我 並面對說服你自己 說孤獨是找出生命美好的開始 不要怕孤獨 先跟自己做好朋友 再去尋找自己的另一半 互相等待 或許 或許 或許

每次寫出這些話覺得自己有夠白癡 thinking out loud 是否是一件好事 還是我該自己存在心裡 不要把自己的心思漏給全時間看?從小我就有很認真在寫日記 到最後網路部落格的大發展就漸漸把思想移到這裡來了

嗯,有在想

我是個很容易受到感動的人 我也非常容易哭出來 小事誤會或戳破一點點 我眼淚就流出了 人家安慰我感到無奈 我自己也想停止 以前我哭我會閉上眼睛哭 朋友圍著我安慰我慢慢讓我冷靜下來 我不停 但現在我了解 哭 只是一種很吸引人家注意的爛招 我現在也盡量不要哭出來了 如果需要哭我絕對不會依賴人家的安慰而再次站起來

但我卻是同學之間最愛笑的人 我崩潰的笑聲 已成為漁房的特色之一了
我自己有點矛盾 有時不太了解我個性到底要如何理解如何解說
然後我不停著想

想什麼呢?

23 March 2011

120

I was really moved by what 花男 said to everyone today after the boys' match. Concerning what happened this weekend, when 女排 ended up stranded in Taizhong with no way home; he said that 男排 and 女排 are a family, with an especial relationship, however separated we are during matches and practice times. Whoever we choose to dislike, they will support us (this part is kind of a joke, but the general idea holds). In the future, when attending matches, we will go along with them, and they'll be sure to take care of us. He said ... if you guys ever ditch them, I'll yell at you. But if you guys are the ones being ditched, I'll yell at the ones who did it. Basically, 女排不爽哪一隊,我們就不爽哪一隊。It was really, really nice, and really very moving.

I guess I looked a little upset when he was saying this to the entire team. I felt a little responsible, especially because I'm on both teams, one of which ditched the other (it's a long story). But he came up to me and told me to stop 自責ing myself. "畢竟妳也是女排的啊!" and another 學長 stood next to me and added "也是男排的啊!" It was such a warm feeling, in the midst of so much fighting, to know that we'll still support one another, no matter what happened this time. It's comforting to know, that in between all the mean words being thrown around the juniors and pointing fingers at the captain of each sport team, when (seriously) the people pointing fingers forget that the victims are 女排 and not them—there's a 學長 with sensitivity and consideration for others, who can settle everything with righteous seniority.

18 March 2011

119


I'm heading to Taizhong tonight for the weekend's bio cup :) I don't know why I feel so excited and bubbly about being there, probably because going to Taizhong is more exotic than going to Taoyuan, in addition to the fact that I have family friends there. I can't wait to be there with our volleyball and badminton teams, supporting, cheering, and playing for both. I anticipate something, but I don't even know what it is yet. I just know something's going to happen... soon. I think a part of me is so excited because I am so lucky. Maybe I'm overthinking. Oh well, off to Taizhong I go! See you all next week.

16 March 2011

118

Ick. I've gone through the "gosh, this blog is getting messy" stage more than a hundred times in my short eighteen years. I did some early spring cleaning, though it's only half done. I've been so terribly lazy lately. I haven't had the motivation to write entries, to study, to do all the things I said I would do. I've become scared of myself. Where is the enthusiasm I had for all those things, before I entered college? Where did my passions, my self-control, my life—go? I feel like I'm not living a life right now. I'm just going through motions, motions that don't mean anything, not anything at all.

11 March 2011

117

For all my California friends and classmates who delight in the rain, I swear to heaven you will learn to hate it, fast, if you live in Taiwan. Yes, this a post about rain. I've never liked it, but I despise it even more now that I have to deal with it here, all of the time.

After being so glad yesterday, I thought nothing could ruin my mood today, and nothing did, until I crashed head-on into one of my classmates while riding my bike back to my dorm in the rain and broke my handlebars. No one was hurt, but I now have a broken bike on my hands. It's rideable, but extremely hard to do so. I blame the rain.

Imagine having to ride your bike in the rain. One hand is dedicated to holding your umbrella upright, fighting the sideways rain and the wind at the same time, while the other (usually dominant) hand is dedicated to steering your handlebars. Watching out for pedestrians is no walk in the park: if you're on a bike, you dislike people who walk; if you walk, you dislike people on bikes. It's a mutual relationship and it sucks butt.

At least with snow, people walk and riding becomes out of the question. But bikes are still rideable through water, which is why people at NTU still choose to do so, lest they be late for class. If you're like me, and make it to class on time with less than a minute to spare each time, you usually end up riding your bike, no matter how wet you think you're going to get.

Bikes at NTU are ridiculous. It comes to a point where people pull others' bikes out of slots to make space for their own, and those unfortunate people end up having their bikes towed because some idiot couldn't spare a few more minutes finding another space of his own. And on rainy days, bikes become even more of a problem. Those who choose to ride on days like this usually walk in with no dry area except their head. It's positively annoying.

I despise rain. Even more so now that I'm here.

09 March 2011

116

受不了的國文課 幹嘛坐在教室 上台演講的人我一句都聽不見 就是超討人厭的同學在後面大笑聊天 都大學了沒想到還是有人有辦法如此的幼稚
老師責備大家 某個同學還安靜說
妳竟然敢用這種口氣對待我 我高中有老師對我們這樣說話會直接被砍!

哼!! 你生氣個頭啊!!自己錯都不承認 在朋友面前就是如此得顯示酷的現象
我無法忍住 就 roll my eyes 希望沒人看到 但看到我不 care
害我兩堂課好 upset 出教室門超想罵髒話
每個禮拜都一樣
在漁房待到 6:00 抱怨抱怨我超不想去上國文啦~
在課堂坐三個小時 三個小時都在咬牙忍住
出來就可以呼吸了

一個禮拜六個小時真難熬
禮拜三我寧可請假跟男排練球 效率不但比你們多太多 沒有一個像你們那麼白目與幼稚
受不了的死孩子

115


Un coeur de verre, les yeux de papier. Pas possible de l'aimer, sans un sourire pour les jours de pluie. Tu sais, le courage? C'est le chose que les amants ont pour protéger leur amour, mais je n'ai rien de plus. Je pense de votre sourire, votre sourire vraiment doux—et soudainment je ne peux pas accepter, vous allez partir, vous allez partir. Non, c'est pas possible. Qu'est-ce que c'est l'amour, vous savez? C'est le courage d'aimer une personne avec tout de coeur, qui ne vous aime, pas maintenant, pas pour l'éternite. Et c'est pour le meilleur, je sais. Mais je n'ai préparé pas, je n'ai préparé pas. Vous m'entends? Je vous empris, ne part pas de mon coeur.

07 March 2011

114



After finishing our shifts yesterday, Peter, 胡仁恩 and I went for a walk on Palm Avenue (椰林大道) and did a photoshoot of the azaleas (杜鵑花) around campus. The blooms are truly marvelous, even though they're a bit smaller this year and bloomed a slight bit too early. Every picture tells a story, and that goes for the fallen azaleas that people arranged into shapes on the islands between palms. Seeing the boulevard explode in color is one of my happy feelings this spring.

click on photos to enlarge

113


Everybody hurts just a little too much
Everybody hurts but it's never enough
It's wonderful to fall
Let's love and risk it all
I'd rather hurt just a little too much

06 March 2011

112



NTU Azalea Festival 台大杜鵑花節 2011
03/05/2011 ~ 03/06/2011
click on photos to enlarge

05 March 2011

111


Photo by Peter Jiang

It could be the spring season, the nice weather, or just the right time, right place. Lately, my friends have been pairing up left and right. Couples have been sprouting out of LS like newly-watered daisies on a spring day. It's a nice thing to see, love all around. The feeling of having your other half, your sun on a rainy day, by your side, is one of the most beautiful things humanity offers us.

The other day at LS night's celebration dinner, everyone toasted 張宏安 and 江卓安 after he confessed his feelings in front of all 80+ people, with a bouquet of cauliflower wrapped in cellophane. I remember freshmen toasting over me, and spilling beer on my coat sleeves, which, by the way, I still don't drink. Everyone laughed, and said, "Karen, this means you're next!"

My philosophy on relationships, after two unsuccessful and immature ones in high school, is that I can't take care of another person, unless I first learn how to take care of myself. My friends laugh and tell me not to look so far ahead. But how can I love you and support you in your time of need, if I don't first learn how to love myself, and make myself worthy of your care when I need your support? A relationship is a love story, but all love stories have endings, which most people joke is marriage. What if one day we do? Love stories end quickly, and if I don't prepare myself now, I'll never be ready, not ever.

I dislike spam "lists" of things a perfect Prince Charming must have. They must kiss you on the forehead when you're sad. They must let you win fights. They must have nice eyes, nice legs, nice shoulders. Nine-packs, I don't even know. Ridiculous, all around. That's not how a love story works. It requires mutual respect on both ends, not a guy laying his coat across a puddle so you don't get your stilettos wet. Love is not supposed to be easy.

It's a really complicated, rather contradictory feeling. I can't say my heart doesn't twinge a little at the sight of my good friends together, and seeing how happy they are, I can't help but yearn for that feeling, too. But I can't move because my time isn't here yet. I know I have to wait, and do what I'm supposed to do before that time comes; the three things most important to a student, or maybe just to me: get good grades, lose weight, and learn how to become a healthier, happier, self-sufficient person. It's amazing how much willpower I make myself out to have, the way I worded the previous few sentences, but ironic, how those three things require the willpower that I do not have.

Willpower is a strong thing. And it's worth more than anything, more than regret, than pleasure, than courage.

04 March 2011

110


Is this supposed to be normal? To lose contact with you guys as soon as high school ends?

The majority of the drift comes from the fact that we are on two completely different continents, let alone the fact that I spend probably less than 5% of every day speaking English, and the cultural differences floating across the Pacific Ocean that so divides us.

I haven't spoken to my best friend since I came back to Taiwan. I still remember getting back to my dorm, dropping my luggage, running downstairs to get breakfast, then biking straight to 漁房 to practice Hoot. I didn't get back until 11 PM that night.

I still remember the sad look my dad gave me when I told him I hadn't spoken to Elizabeth in weeks. He looked genuinely concerned. He asked if I wanted to use long-distance Skype to contact her. I said no, it was fine. Because he knew how much Elizabeth means to me, how close we were in high school, and how we used to spend long hours talking to one another. But how can I let her go, just like that? It's not fair to her, it's not fair at all.

What is wrong with me? The friends I loved so much in high school ... I don't think I know you anymore, because I haven't made any real efforts to keep in contact with you guys. The things I find funny, the jokes I have with my classmates... they're not jokes I can explain to anyone, because they only make sense in Chinese. And if a happy thing can't be shared, what good is it? I spend so much time with my classmates in class, and upon the activities within our major, I am finding that I hardly have time for my family, either. I haven't even really spoken to my mother since I came back. The "no time" excuse is the oldest trick in the book, but how can I have not have a single minute to do the one thing I promised everyone I would do in college: keep in touch?

I've broken so many of my promises. I hardly have the time to think about the letters my friends write me, and all the sweet and wonderful things they say inside. Kasey, if you see this, I loved the valentine you sent me. I almost cried reading the entire thing. I started a response to you, but I couldn't finish it ... and now, I think I have to start over again.

When I visited Berkeley to see Elizabeth during my winter break, I walked past the dorm room of one of my very good friends in high school. But because of our differences, and the fight we had before I left, I didn't call her, and she didn't contact me either. I knew she knew I was back home. Even more, she knew I was visiting Berkeley that day. But I walked straight past her room, and didn't even stop to say hello. It hurt. It did, and I admit my steps slowed when I walked away from that door. But I kept walking.

I cannot bring myself to say that I could go on living without the friendships of my past. You all taught me more about how to survive in my future and to live in my present, that I cannot take credit for any of the things I have done today without crediting you first. And even though college is all about meeting new people and gaining new insight, which is exactly what has happened to me, on a stroke of luck—you all were valuable to me, and still are.

University life has so consumed me that I rarely ever think about anything that's going on beyond the borders of the campus. But as a result, I've thrown away so many of the friendships I cherish ... and is it too late for me to fix them?

01 March 2011

109


放開 放手 別矜持了 我明天不管觀眾是誰 我一樣會盡力放開 反正不管我多麼的不舒服 多麼對我自己沒信心 現在已經不重要了 明天要表演就要表現好 羞赧算什麼 不要這樣了!我心裡對自己沒信心 其實到最後沒有人會知道的!上台表演就要動作大 我明天一定要成功!

大家加油,你們可以的!我要放,我要放! ©