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Lately, life has been uncontrollable. I need to teach myself that being chronically sleep-deprived, sleeping at no earlier than three AM every night, and getting up at any time between 5:30 AM and 9:00 AM each morning, is not, unfortunately, a sign of strength, but a lack of time management. Life. My life is consumed by college activities, and it frightens me, how little I speak with my family, how I don't write back to my high school friends who send me letters, how I hardly see my extended family anymore, how much time I spend doing what and what, how I just ... can't do anything, except worry, except do all the things I think I want to do, except I can't always handle them all equally well. I am expected to do so much from so many different people, but only because I agreed to, in the beginning. I have no right to complain, but the pressure I receive from all directions is literally going to kill me one day. I can feel myself wearing so thin, I can't even see myself anymore. I don't even make sense. This post is not supposed to make sense.