Not going home is not going to be the right decision in the end, and I know it. In a way, I feel tied down by all the obligations I have, but I'm scared that I have another reason not to return to San Jose. Perhaps this is what a home-identity crisis feels like, not knowing where you belong, not knowing which place to call home, not knowing which place is more worthy of your attention.
I don't regret taking on the responsibilities I have: treasurer/second chairman of 2011 freshman orientation, small-group counselor of life science camp, and unofficial tour guide to my brother and his friends when he comes here for AID this summer. They're my pride, my joy, my happiness. But I am afraid, I am so afraid. Afraid that if I keep this pace up, there's probably no way I'll go home in the summertime, not ever. It's not right. I can't do this to myself.
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