162

I enjoy:

· Spending summer nights with you (guys).
· When 若晞 asked us to gather in a circle to clap and cheer this evening, he asked everyone to thank 花男 and 經理 (which is me), but 花男 stopped him and said "I don't think we need to thank our manager anymore... I think she's already one of our teammates."
· Laying down on our stomachs, head in hands, in a circle, to cycle and talk together after practices every day, looking at all the stars in the night sky as we sit together on the dark volleyball courts.
· Being a part of this happy family, a family that will always occupy a small corner of my heart.

Summer love at its finest—sharing it with people you treasure in the heat of the day and the cool of the night, everlasting and as intangible as the occasional, precious breeze in Taipei's heated summer weather.

Mmm, I remember something 雅盺 told me a few days ago... "When he leaves for America in a few weeks, I don't think 男排 will be the same again."

That thought hit me straight in the face—that the person I will miss the most from these happy summer nights is actually leaving for a place I call home but that sounds so foreign and cold to me now. As much as I don't want to admit it, I am quickly running out of time to do what I need to do. I wish I didn't have to come to the realization that you will not come back for a long time. There is so much I love about this team, and I wish our story didn't have to end so soon. A story that I keep secret from all other eyes except my own, a story that I will continue to commit to paper and pencil even as the clock ticks the hours, the minutes, the seconds, away. A story for which I cannot bear to write an ending. A story that is written in pencil, and not pen, because in the words resides another treasure that can be erased and re-written with time.

153

Alright, confession. I went through the old clothing box at my dorm a few days before I cleared on out. The box is full of clothes that girls on my floor wish to donate or don't want anymore. I know it wasn't the best decision to go rooting through it, but I did it very late at night and very sneakily so. I actually donated something of my own in exchange... so it all evens out!

A catalogue of the things I picked up:

A leather sling. It's roomy, it's soft, it's full of pockets, an absolute must for a person like me, who carries plenty of small items, and I don't understand why anyone would throw it away just because the middle strap that goes around the bag's waist snapped! I love it mostly because there's so much space inside. I can carry a jacket, my tablet, my wallet, cell phone, and camera, and it'll still feel loose atop my shoulder. I love the feeling of roominess, so this bag is an instant winner with me! The broken strap borders a unique fashion statement, and I had no problem tying it up with thread so it wouldn't fall apart, and taking it everywhere. I love it. I have a feeling it won't last very long, but it's alright.

A Super Junior-reminiscent scarf. Chequered and thin and soft, designed not to be rolled around your neck like a winter woolen, but more wrapped artistically, loosely, if you will. I've never owned one of these before and I've always wanted one, but I never went out of my way to purchase one when they were all the rage at Forever 21 and the other vintage-replica clothing stores around the mall. I've never been a big accessories person, but what I can get by chance or by gifts, I love with all my heart. I can't wait to wrap this one around my neck, matched with a white tee and jeans, once autumn starts to roll around and it starts to cool down a bit around here. I have to learn how to tie it first!


I also snagged up a green thigh-length hoodie (it was too soft for me to resist, despite the Chinglish written all over the front!) and a racer-back claret-coloured tank-top (very basic and good to wear at home when I'm doing chores), both of which are not pictured.

Ahh, I couldn't resist! I felt like a homeless person when I went sneaking through the box... but I was careful not to take too much. Still... :)

Okay, I'm off to Keelung tomorrow with my classmates for a 生科營 run-through in the wild, and I have to be at school by 7:45 AM ... eep! Considering it takes me a good 20 ~ 25 minutes to get to school, I can't leave the house too late. Off to shower, charge my camera, stretch my legs, and then to bed I go. I overslept this morning, and I'm determined not to have it happen again. Goodnight all! Kalvin, I can't wait for you to get here!

152

Oops. I haven't updated my blog since the beginning of June, and I'm going to get a measly little (2) under my June archive! Generally, I like to accompany my updates with photos, preferably ones that I take myself.

• I packed up everything in my dorm room and I'm just about ready to go. Four more packages onto my uncle's car and I'll be out of 大一女! All three of my roommates left already, so I came home to stay tonight. When I walked into my room this evening to get the last of the things I was going to carry home by bus, my voice literally bounced off the shelves because it was so empty. :( It feels so 空! 
• I'm spending my summer in Taiwan because I simply can't fit in time to go home in between the school activities I have over summer, and in addition to that, my grandparents aren't doing very well. 
• Lots of things happened this June. 理院盃. My birthday. 系羽送舊. 男排送舊. Finals. June was a whirlwind, but it was the best month I've had all year long, despite being the most stressful and the most tiring. I sat on the edge of insanity for a good two or three weeks, but I was so happy. I wish I wrote down all my feelings and how everything happened... but usually, I write those on my P2 版. 
• My brother comes to Taiwan in less than a week! I can't wait for him to be here, I miss my brother terribly. He's also bringing good things for me from California ... :) 

Anyway, tonight, my cousin made pasta. Vegetarian, but so good! Next time we'll try spicing it up with onions or chicken slices or greens or something like that. I miss my mother's pasta, but tonight's dinner was faintly reminiscent of the homestyle meals she used to cook. I must learn her ways. 

I'd go on, but I'm staring at bags and bags of luggage in my room right now, and I really need to unpack, before I go crazy. Oh, and clean the house, but I think unpacking should come first. Toodles~ 

140

I feel like with every breath and every smile, every diversion of the eye, I am taking you in. Your smile, your subtle, barely distinguishable face of happiness, your cool and collected nonchalance towards things you deeply care about. Your eyes, and the way they look, the way they perceive the world. Your arms, your strong hands, your posture. The more I see you, the more I absorb your figure, your appearance, your demeanor. I feel like you are like me, in more ways than one. Unafraid to take on the world, accepting every challenge that comes your way, independent and somewhat stubborn, not willing to have someone pull you back from your full potential. I wonder what you're like, beneath that skin that seems to strengthen itself with every move you make. I wonder if there is something about you that weakens you, even when you appear most strong. I wonder what it feels like to be you. I wish I knew you. I wish I could. And I do want to, so, so terribly. But you don't know, you don't know. I used to be relieved that you didn't. But I wish you did, now.

138

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. I woke up happy, though feeling soft and limp all over. I felt blissfully content, but it was a reserved kind of content. I felt wonderful. I know perfectly well why I feel this way, but I'm too embarrassed to explain what it is. I have to pull myself back down to earth. I haven't woken up to this feeling in almost two years, and it makes me so happy that it's finally back.

137

花男，讚哥和我今天在麥當勞吃宵夜
吃東西時
我說，欸，我們三個經理之間，有兩個已有男朋友了⋯ （紀文敏和夏心怡）
花男就說 那雙雙妳就加油咯 以後交了男朋友需要先經過男排得批准才可以喔
... XD
“可以往哪邊發展呢⋯ 系籃？系排已幾乎沒有了啊”
花男：“老大？”
我：“老大是流氓型欸”
花男：“如果你跟我說你喜歡老大，我會說妳瘋了。” 《 －這句！！！超表 超好笑 XD

結果我們坐在那 花男很認真在幫我想幫我找對象 哈哈
他問我會不會考慮學弟 我說不會 他說其實差一歲真的沒什麼差別⋯⋯
是真的啦 但為什麼覺得完全沒有安全感
我條件好多喔 系排幾乎都沒有了⋯ （抱頭）
往外系發展的意思嗎？還是聯誼 XD

(I am hoping none of my classmates/Taiwanese friends see this, because I would be thoroughly embarrassed～)

131

謝謝你

你有可能不知道 我給你禮物之前 有多麼的緊張
今天李奇展走進漁房 我有問他 你有沒有辦法幫我轉達一樣東西
他叫我自己去 那時我就覺得 不行 不可以沒有勇氣 一定要當面自己給
結果
是陳怡靜牽著我的手進電梯上七樓
是陳怡靜走進實驗室 幫我問你人在不在
是陳怡靜拉著我 不讓我逃 叫我坐下等你回來
如果沒人陪著我去 我或許永遠都沒膽子給你禮物

對不起我晚給你了！但希望你喜歡
生日快樂 要開心喔 :)

130

Mixed doubles for 台大盃 with 亙! I actually had two guys who wanted to ask me to be their partner (not unlike prom for a few girls in high school...) and both did, at the exact same time and place x__x

"台大盃快到了。"

"噢... (thinking: fudge, what am I going to do)..... (轉身) 欸亙! 我問你噢台大盃你有 partner 嗎?”

“沒有啊，我不是有問過你嗎？你想打嗎？”

“嗯嗯好啊！”

“........ 什麼啦，我本來要找她的！"

“啊可是這樣慧詩怎麼辦呢？不然妳可以跟慧詩打不是嗎。”

“不然你跟慧詩打，我跟她打! （笑）”

Er... I shuddered a little and 默默的 shuffled away quickly to put on my sweatpants, HAHA ; ᑎ ; qq I shuffled out of 舊體 pretty quickly after that. I caught 亙 at the door and was going to talk to him, but I changed my mind at the last minute. I'm already playing 大師盃 with 好魚 (something I rather regret promising; I'm not looking forward to getting slaughtered on the first day and come home 句點ing) and I haven't played with 亙 ever. When I play with 亙 we play mixed-style because he can cover the entire court, but when I play with 好魚, he requires me to play doubles-style. When I play mixed for fun, I usually offer to run doubles footwork because I can, and because I want to ease up on the guy's covered area, but when it becomes something that's taken for granted, I just ... ;ᅀ; meh! 亙 also has great 默契 on the court and keeps my mood up in the air no matter how he's doing in the match. Conclusion: I want to play with 亙 dangit! It's not every day you have such a strong partner ask you this kind of question qq

Anyway, I told 好魚 that 亙 had originally asked me first, and I had already made up my mind to play with him, and he was kind of disappointed :(

128

I walked in and didn't dare look for you. I grabbed the head of one of my classmates, and heard cries of "Hey, you're here!" "Hey! Where are you going to sit?" and I smiled and said hello. And then I saw you. You were sitting in the corner, near the edge of the round table, if it can be said so. I didn't make eye contact with you, but I saw you looking at me. From my hello, to "Where's my seat? That's alright, I'll go fetch another stool." you looked at me, in my direction. And all of a sudden, I didn't regret running my legs off to get on the MRT back to my dormitory, didn't regret the big fall I took on the elevator when dashing too fast up it, didn't regret Peter's joke that I wouldn't make it there until eight (which I beat, for the record), didn't regret the five-minute shower I took with another close fall on the slippery floor. I didn't regret a thing, because I dressed my best and felt my best, and with every smile, every laugh, I could feel my face, and with it my heart, growing warmer. Because who ever knew, how your eyes can make a girl feel like she's a princess?

127

Two-way hug. I loosen my hold and am about to let go, but you hug me tighter.

What a load of mushy oatmeal! (崩潰)

What can I say. I used to know that feeling, too. It's fleeting, but it lingers. Unconscious smiles, unnecessary fidgeting, it makes you a little pile of girly goo. But I haven't met a girl yet who wouldn't tell you it feels wonderful.

102

"When at last, our life on Earth is through, I will share eternity with you." ©

074

今天上完微積分 在新生大樓樓下和陳怡靜，夏心怡，黃馨儀會合
決定要去吃飯，但完全不知要吃什麼
所以我就先載陳怡靜回系館 回系館的路上我們聊得超開心 一路笑回去 最喜歡陳怡靜了 : )
陳怡靜說好久沒跟我吃飯了，今天一起吃吧！

結果回到漁房發現林敬智在大一桌打電腦

同時，江卓安問我有沒有要回宿舍，她想借我床來睡個午覺

在跟她商量時，就看到林敬智和陳怡靜在講話 結果他們就慢慢往漁房門走了...

陳怡靜轉頭問我，雙雙，要不要吃飯啊？

我看他們兩個同時回頭看我 我去簡直就是當討厭電燈泡不是嗎？

“唉，你們去，你們去 （揮手）快走，走走走！”

林敬智：靠背!!!!!!!!!!!!

陳怡靜：笑 XD

結果就走了! 看吧，你們兩個... kawaii des!

太 好 笑 了

到最後我就載江卓安回我宿舍 他現在在我頭上睡覺 我在寫國文作文

要專心了！

073

New Year's Eve with NTULS99

To my dearest friends, my second family, my home:

When I am with you guys, there is nothing more I need. I'm surrounded by laughter, by happiness, by a drive to succeed, by love. You guys have changed my life, in one short semester, in so many ways. You've taught me that there is so much to love in life, if you only have a little patience, a big heart, and the right perspective. I've learned to see things a different way, to let my true colors show, to find joy in all that I do, and look back with no regrets. In my lifetime I never thought I would have the fortune to be this happy. I give thanks for every waking moment I spend with you guys, because each and every memory we create is priceless to me. For your never-ending support and friendship, I am eternally grateful.

Thank you for being such a wonderful family. Happy new year～

066

hmmmm

mmm

聖誕之夜, NTULS Christmas Party select photos... I finally have a camera! 藍寶 lent his G11 to me, YES. Albeit the reason was so I could take pictures of the boys while they practice/play games (the latter is pretty much impossible, actually, because I'm keeping records during games), I asked for permission to take Christmas party pictures, and he said yes! I am so glad.

Joanna 江卓安, our class representative, and also one of the sweetest girls.


Sophomore band～ their covers were amazing!! Blew me away :)


阿彥 was the cutest thing :) he sang 你是我的天使 (to 妞妞, obviously... though he didn't point it out, despite humongous amounts of pressure from the audience) and his voice is so beautiful!


Sophomores :)


The outfit for B2ST's '숨' which the boys covered!


Better looking than the original guys, if you ask me.


章魚，our happy happy classmate, sadly, this picture was taken right after a severe "violation" -- thus the way his hands are posed.


After the party, we had a 火鍋 party, so a few of us headed to the supermarket down the street to buy food. Fact: riding a bicycle down a city street, still filled with taxis and motorcycles, at 12 AM is super, super scary... even more so when you're wearing a jean skirt and wedges x_x


陳毅安，the freshman volleyball beast!


Ahh, fun night :) Hopefully one of many more to come～

062

f a m i l y—

I could never ask for more than this. I'm so grateful, so lucky. And I am really very, very moved by everyone who told me "沒關係，我們陪你." However small those words mean, they mean so, so much to me.

In a place that is so foreign to me, a place I came to with not a single familiar face in sight, finding friends who are this wonderful is the greatest blessing in the world.

054

I want...

。to buzz myself through the gates at 公館捷運站, jump on the MRT going anywhere, it doesn't matter; stop at a random stop, get off, come up and look around.
。to get on my bicycle and bike off campus and find a park where I can stop, sit down, and watch the sun go down while lying on the grass.
。to rush up the stairs to the thirteen floor of our 系館 at 10:00 at night with a blanket and a medium latte from Seven; sit with it cupped between my hands and watch the stars, with the Taipei 101 glowing in the distance; sit there for hours and not worry about a thing.
。to run away with you, holding your hand, laughing and smiling the entire way, as I always do with people I most love, the people who mean the most to me.

不知道該怎麼說
但 覺得生科 b99 真的好好
溫馨 熱血 high 快樂 微笑
真的 好愛你們
大家要加油 我們一起加油啦!

047

It takes...

three months away from California to make me fully appreciate the place I left. I was looking through Emilie's photo album when I was on a break from writing labs... I saw the open space, the street painters, the parkside fountains. I saw Emilie and her friends, bundled in boots and scarves and coats, sitting on the benches as if out they spent the day shopping, having coffee, and finally a stroll in the park. I can't find that here. It's completely different, no matter how I look at it.

It's Thanksgiving and I'm in Taiwan. It's not existent here... and I have never been so homesick. If you've never had the fortune to experience it, I can't describe it to you. It's a time of year when family and friends come over for dinners and bring food and good cheer. The streets are full of people, bundled up in earmuffs, boots, and mittens, hustling and bustling everywhere for holiday preparations. The air feels so good, and the spirit of the season permeates everything and everyone. How can you feel dismal when you're surrounded by happiness?

Some people call it stressful and somewhat corporate, and I was no exception to that. But now that I don't have any of it anymore... I miss it so much. I'm learning to appreciate what I have when I do have it, because one day, I might not anymore. This applies to so many recent events and feelings I've been experiencing.

Holiday cheer... is really the greatest blessing I've ever received.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

035

gee compared to the volume of posts I usually churn out, it's been a while!
I guess it's because ...
IT'S MIDTERM SEASON LOVELIESSSSS

time to get slaughtered or ... owned
or hopefully take the ed's off both of those words
and show those exams who's boss : )
加油, 大家!

also, december is an exciting month

· 聖誕之夜 LS christmas celebration! 12/17.
· daddy is going home for christmas. I alternate between being supremely jealous and being supremely excited... because this means I'm in taiwan by myself, which should definitely be an interesting experience. his plane leaves the night of 12/17.
· 九社舞會 dance @ LUXY! 12/20.

but first ... let's go get those midterms.

a reason to start over new, and the reason is you.

♫ The Reason / Hoobastank